Ah, today’s message from tut.com:
“I bet you could do something for someone today, Rosie, who’d remember it for the rest of their life.
In a good way.
On your mark, get set…
The Universe
PS, Actually, Rosie, you do it all the time.”
I read this message early this morning. It is now mid afternoon, and I am reflecting on it again. Yep, I think I did what the message said…I just wonder if I did it “in a good way.”
I was engaged in a conversation with a bright, classy, well mannered young man. I noted that sometimes he would walk in front of me or enter doors in front of me. It made me think of an impressive acquaintance I recently met who must be one of the last of the southern gentlemen. This man goes out of his way to make sure he holds every door open for the females in his company. He opens every car door. Women are so impressed and stunned by his gentlemanly ways. “Chivalry is not dead!” is the consistent stunned response by women he accompanies.
Thinking this would be a hot tip for the already well mannered young man, I shared my experience with him. He commented, “Are you saying I don’t do that?” I thought I tactfully indicated “A lot of the time, but not consistently.” Well…the afternoon was then filled with sarcastic humor about how rude he is. His “poking fun” comments felt like sarcastic offendedness disguised as humor. Hmm, my words apparently were effective, but my facial expressions left a lot to be desired when I delivered my message.
I did a lot of back pedaling, but not sure it helped ease the facial delivery.
I recall many years ago teaching a class “The Team and Me.” During a group exercise, I asked participants to write on the board characteristics of the worst teacher they had ever experienced. One 50 + year old female wrote, “In 5th grade my teacher said I had the worst handwriting of any kid in her entire teaching career.” Quite a distinction for a 5th grade kid, would you agree? I asked the class to time how long it took to make that statement. Just a few seconds. How long did she remember the statement? All her life.
What is the old saying? “Let the words I say today be soft and tender for tomorrow I may need to eat them.” Once the words, or the facial expression, is delivered, you can’t put them back.
I bet this young man will remember to walk behind females and open doors for them…but next time I could certainly focus on finding an improved mannerism when delivering my thoughtful messages.
Yes, tut.com, you are right on with your message: “I bet you could do something for someone today, Rosie, who’d remember it for the rest of their life.” Yeah, I bet you could – you do it all the time.
