A conversation with a loved one ensued following the two recently posted articles:  Let Whatever Happens Be OK (see http://rosiebrownrn.com/let-whatever-happens-be-ok/), and The Path to Wholeness. . .a bumpy ride (see http://rosiebrownrn.com/the-path-to-wholeness-a-bumpy-ride/).

“I applied for this job. I did everything right. I held the vision. I saw me getting this job. I kept my attitude positive and strong. . .and then the call came. . .I didn’t get the job. All this resistance stuff is all well and good, but I can’t hang on any more.”

It is easy to follow the practices outline in these two articles when everything is going great. Not so easy to keep the faith when situations in life seem hopeless. That is when faith is needed the most.

Perhaps the following passage from The Five Things We Cannot Change. . .and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them by David Richo will help:

The fact that things do not always go according to plan means that powers beyond ego are at work in our lives –powers that lead us to our destiny by a path we might have neglected. Once we understand that we are supported by powers beyond our ego, we see that having to be in control may not be in our best interest; we might upset mighty plans that are afoot on our behalf.

What if that job is not the best job for him? What if plans, not known to him, are afoot for something much better? What if his life’s mission would be derailed by that job? What if there is a greater intelligence looking out for him?

Richo shares the following story to make his point;

In the early 1940s, on the night of her graduation party, a high school girl named Doris Van Kappelhoff was involved in a serious car accident. She had planned to go to Hollywood to become a dancer in films, but her injuries made that future no longer possible. Doris, during the long homebound recuperation, began to sing along with the female vocalists on the radio. Her voice became so well trained that she was hired to sing in a band, and soon thereafter, she found parts in movies, changing her name to Doris Day. Her original plans were dashed by the tragic event, but thereby she found her true calling.

Things don’t always go according to our plans, but a change of plans may be an example of synchronicity, the mysterious set of circumstances that lead us to a life fulfillment unguessed and unsought-other words for grace.

Perhaps a better plan would call for a celebration, celebrating the fact that  he did not get that job. . . for who knows what better plan may be afoot?

“Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.”

Interesting quote by Henry David Thoreau, 1817-1862.

Who writes the rules of life anyway? Who creates the jails?

In The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Buddhism, author Gary Gach writes:

“He (Budda) saw clearly now the jail, which we ourselves construct, in which we entrap ourselves, and which we ourselves police. But whatever is constructed will deconstruct. He saw, too, the happiness of being free.

He understood that what we call our life is but a wave, not the ocean. He became one with that ocean, and all the rivers and raindrops flowing into it. He saw the morning star in the sky as if for the first time, his mind as clear as a mirror, and his heart as wide now as the world, almost overflowing with understanding and love. The luminous, joyous starlight matched the smile on his lips. This was it. He had found out. Now he was fully awake.

So happy! He had finally found complete freedom from all unnecessary mortal suffering.”

Speaker Kimberly Herkert offers, “As human beings, we are not capable of seeing the big picture for anyone’s situation. As a result, we are not able to judge what is best for anyone, including ourselves.”

A close friend will immediately correct me every time I comment about a “mistake” that I have made. She teaches me that there are no “mistakes.” Everything is just as it should be, and it serves absolutely no purpose to pass judgment – on others or ourselves.

Cicero, 106 BC-43 BC: “We must not say every mistake is a foolish one.”

Perhaps this message that I wrote to a friend this morning will have meaning for you as well:

“Another thought that comes to me after re-reading your message is this: don’t take yourself too seriously. The whole goal here in life is to be happy.

Yesterday I was in a conversation with a medical professional. He needed to get on to see his next patient. He first paused before turning away, looked me dead in the eye, and said ‘Have fun.’ It felt as if he was being guided to give me that message, particularly since it was so out of the blue from what we had just been talking about. His words simply did not fit the conversation, nor did the tone of his voice, which was not frivolous but very slow, deliberate, and serious. I perceived it was definitely a message to be given to me through him. Maybe now I am supposed to give it to you.

We don’t veer far off our path. I think we live our life purpose just by whatever we do day by day, but we don’t recognize it. We are always looking ‘out there’ for something because we think ‘surely this isn’t it.’ I have come to think that yes, surely it is. Living in the moment, finding peace and happiness, that is the goal. When we do that, everything else unfolds. Our soul will allow it to unfold. So, hey, maybe Bobby McFerrin’s song said it all, ‘Don’t worry. Be happy.’”

What’s the moral of today’s story?

What about this? Don’t worry so much about being too moral. Don’t lock yourself up in your own self-imposed jail. Don’t beat yourself up for making “mistakes.”

Have fun. Be happy.

An acquaintance had just announced he was going to stop smoking. On the ride home, I commented to my friend, “Do you think he will succeed? This is the highest stress he has been under in his entire life.”

My friend replied, “The hardest part is making the decision. Once the decision is made, it’s all downhill from there. It doesn’t matter what is going on in his life. It all comes down to making a decision.”

Everything starts with a decision. Wonder why it is that on this day, two messages then popped up regarding making a decision? The first comes from Neale Donald Walsh:

“On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know…

…that waiting to see what happens is not a very good way to make decisions.

Not to decide is to decide.

What are you deciding right now by not deciding?

What are you choosing by failing to choose?

Is this how you want to live your life: by default?

It is time for you to make a decision.

Do you need a bigger signal than this?

Love, Your Friend….”

The evening prior, I delivered a “Stop the Needless Suffering” presentation, helping the group to see that by first increasing their awareness and then making a decision, they would positively impact their life. A vibrant, happy life is right there for the taking – it simply starts with making a decision. (See my book trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6AhQNJ0fqs).

As Inna Segal advises, “Be guided to a new life by actions you can perform to restore your body to its healthiest state.”

Then there are decisions about what to do with your life. Do I go this way? Do I go that?

On this morning, my eyes were drawn to a box of Angel Cards by Doreen Virtue. The card I pulled from the deck was Vanessa. Vanessa’s message was:

“To make your decision, ask yourself, ‘Which way brings me closer to my Divine purpose? Which way takes me away from it?’”

Additional Message: ‘Should I go this way or that way?’ you wonder. One day, you’re sure of your decision. The next day, you question it again. This indecision will be healed by focusing on your Divine life purpose. Even if you aren’t sure of your purpose’s exact nature, you do know that it involves bringing peace to yourself and others. Based on this foundation, then, which decision brings you the most peace?

‘’If you’re still unsure, then ask God and the angels to help you further. You can ask us, ‘Which decision will help the most people?’ This is a wonderful basis upon which to make your choice. Sometimes the easiest route is the one that takes you further away from your Divine purpose. So, your indecision may come from a fear of making waves, or uncertainty about your future. In such cases, gradual change is warranted. Slowly introduce your new direction into your daily life, and ease out of your old direction slowly. In that way, you won’t frighten yourself, you will be more open to hearing God’s guidance, and you will feel our love.

Bottom line: it all starts with a decision…indecision is a decision. What do you want your body/your life to look like? How can you set upon gradual change? Are you open to hearing your internal guidance?

Remember: the hardest part is making a decision. It’s all downhill from there.

Thursday evening I listened to a call given by Jack Canfield, announcing the details of his upcoming “Breakthrough to Success” scheduled for August 8 – 14. For details and registration, see www.canfieldtrainings.com.

Thought you might be interested in some of the golden nuggets given during the call…

If you are on purpose, you will experience joy.

Assess your life situation. Are you experiencing joy? That’s the way to tell if you are on purpose.

Jack went on to discuss the following four levels you pass through on our journey to mastery:

Level I: Repair and Recovery

It is at this level that you see disease: “dis-ease”

Level II: Foundation

This is where you build infrastructure in your life…where you join a Mastermind group, focus on an exercise or nutritional program, drink enough water, etc.

Level III: Reserve

Here you have an abundance of ____ – fill in the blank. It could be an abundance of time, money, energy, resources. This is where the Law of Attraction kicks in on a positive level.

Level IV: Mastery

Love, health, happiness are yours. It is estimated it takes 10,000 hours to accomplish mastery. How many hours is that? Well, if there are 24 hrs in a day and 365 days in a year, if you used every minute of your year, that would = 8,760 hours. So, a long time – but hey, you are going to be here anyway, right? Why not stay on the path leading to mastery? Then one not-so-distant-day in the future, you will have arrived.

Jack then spoke about why people struggle in achieving success:

1. You don’t set goals, a vision.
2. You don’t have a solid foundation, a solid system for predicting results, principles, or a strategic plan in line with your principles.
3. You are stuck in a comfort zone. Learn how to take risks.
4. You don’t have a plan – convert your vision into an action plan.
5. You don’t take sustained action and persevere. Take action NOW. It only takes one step in the right direction to change your life.

Next came probably the greatest gift of the entire call: seven questions that will change your life:

1. What is a difficult/challenging/troubling situation in your life right now?

2. How are you creating it or allowing it to happen?

3. What are you pretending not to know?

4. What is the payoff for keeping it like it is?

5. What would you rather be experiencing?

6. What actions will you take to create that?

7. By when will you take that action?

I challenge you to pick up a pen and paper right now and answer those seven questions. It is simply amazing what will bubble up.

Now, go back and assess which of the four levels you are currently residing. Is it time to move?

Next, review Jack’s five reasons for struggling to achieve success. Make a commitment to create an action plan that feels right for accomplishing that which you desire to achieve. Put it in writing on an index card – several index cards. Plant those cards everywhere and review what you wrote three times a day. See blog article “It Works” – http://rosiebrownrn.com/it-works/.

Are you on purpose? Are you experiencing joy? If not, take action NOW.

It only takes one step in the right direction to change your life.

Scanning through the morning mail and seeing this statement jerked me back into reality:

“I’m very pleased with each advancing year. It stems back to when I was forty. I was a bit upset about reaching that milestone, but an older friend consoled me. ‘Don’t complain about growing old – many, many people do not have that privilege.’”                     ~  Earl Warren, 1891-1974

Right after that splash of cold water in the face, I reviewed an update from a friend concerning her husband who is suffering from a form of cancer. They spent the entire New Year’s Day and evening in the hospital with him receiving his blood transfusions. This week he will have another bone marrow biopsy to see if the leukemia has progressed, and to asses starting another round of chemotherapy.

And what was it again that I was worrying about just prior to reviewing the morning mail? Somehow it doesn’t seem so significant now. No matter the circumstances you find yourself in, there is someone else out there who is struggling even more.

Last night I read an interesting article containing the following comment, “And when faced with light or darkness, we all too often choose our anger, our fears, our failings.”

The message being communicated was that darkness exists so we can choose, so that we can become the creator of our own lives, the conductor of our own symphonies.

What better time to reflect on the creation of your own life, right now, the beginning of a whole new year?

On Monday I was privileged to spend some time with a life coach. She offered some solid advice that may also be of help to you as you dig deep into your own being and reflect upon your dreams and desires for this new year:

• Who are you?
• What do you want? What is important to you?
• What are your needs?
• What are your weaknesses, your strengths?
• Define what you want in a relationship.
• Give yourself some time to reflect over the last years.
• What unresolved issues do you have?
• There are only 2 kinds of feelings: 1) Those that feel good and 2) Those that
  don’t. Honor yourself.
• Walk through the discomfort, the feelings.
• Put it on the table for you. Be true to you.
• This has to do with honesty – be true to the self.
• Open the box and let some light into it.
• Does guilt drive you?
•  Honor the self, not in a selfish way, in a selfless way.
• #1 thing to do: honor the self. If you cannot honor you, pay attention, you
  are not going to be happy.

What an opportunity to lay a strong foundation for the upcoming year – and our life in general. Hmm, I intend to take some time and journal my responses to these questions. I invite you to do the same. Perhaps we can dialogue a bit about what comes up?  In the meantime, have a blessed day.  :  )

“Learn to live, love…” Just now I heard someone quote this phrase, which he said came from the book The Shack. Does anyone know for sure? Is that book truly the source?

The phrase was so intriguing, I did a Google search to see if I could identify the source. I found many sites using this quote, each person taking a different, yet similar spin. I became lost in those four words momentarily…

I drifted away to all the events that occurred the past four days. Sometimes “Learn to live, love” is a big bill to fill. Other times, it is easy and effortless.

I reflected back over my recent days and nights in Chicago. On one hand, there is the ever present trepidation and fear one can so easily succumb to, witnessing the cold, angry encounters of people too rushed, too busy to care.

On the other hand, the meetings with a couple groups of attractive, professional, caring young women made it so easy to live life fully and love everything about them.

Then there was the call that came at 11:30 pm, telling of the passing of a close relative. The ensuing grief and pain momentarily frosted over the notion of living and loving.

Two people poured their hearts out over seemingly intolerable work situations, one with unethical business practices, another with a tyrant supervisor. One might ask, “What’s there to love about that?”

On the way home, I finished up the 5 CD series Eat for Health and listened to 2 CDs from Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, M.D. What care and discipline it takes to love oneself enough to do whatever is necessary to unlearn old habits in order to free up endless days to live and love.

As I return to the present moment, I ask myself, what was that quote I just read by Dale Carnegie?

     “The person who gets the farthest is generally the one
      who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing
                 boat never gets far from shore.”

Nothing in life is the sure thing, and yet everything is. Life is sure to deliver the glorious, happy moments, just as readily as providing the contrast – the opportunities to stretch and grow.

To do and to dare exposes human vulnerability, yet without it, where is the zest for living? The loss of life teaches an appreciation for life. The inhumane boss pushes the recipient out of the nest – perhaps into the best experience of a lifetime – hidden from view, just around the corner.

Hmmm…could it be that all life experiences are to be embraced, lived and loved?

What a wonderful morning reminder from Abraham to wake up to this morning:

“Your life is right now! It’s not later! It’s not in that time of retirement. It’s not when the lover gets here. It’s not when you’ve moved into the new house. It’s not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now, because it’s not ever going to get better than right now–until it gets better right now!”

I am reminded of the story that Wayne Dyer tells where the man was unhappy doing what he was doing, resenting his wife because she always pushed him to stay in that career. On his deathbed, he looked up and said, “What if my whole life has been a mistake?”  Upon hearing that story, at age 19, Wayne made the vow to himself to not die with his music still in him.

How can we keep the music alive, moment by moment? It is the stark reality to realize that our individual moments eventually comprise all the days in “the dash” – that space of time between our birth year and the year of our last breath.

It is interesting what happens when one sprinkles in laughter, fun, and enjoyment along with what could appear to be a long, grueling work process. For example, Dr. Gabhart and I are writing a book. We have noted that we are much more productive, making much more progress, when we take a break in between working sessions. We sometimes take the time to drive someplace different for lunch, sometimes we spontaneously decide to run to a consignment shop on the fly, etc.

This week we created an aggressive timeline for completion of our projects. We also discussed the importance of having fun along the journey. With that in mind, we created a plan to drive a couple hours one day next week to nearby Brown County, a wonderful nature retreat, to work from there.

What if your job confines you to a building? What can you do to make the day fun? What can you do to recharge your energy? What can you do to make someone else’s day, which will in return invigorate you? Can you walk around the building at lunch? Can you pause to take a fun mental trip every couple of hours or so? Can you play soft, uplifting music in the background in your cubicle? Can you put up pictures, snapshots at your desk?

Yesterday, on her second day of school, my granddaughter took me on a tour of her new classroom. She was thrilled to show me her locker, a privilege that comes with advancing to 3^rd grade. From her backpack, she carefully withdrew a half dozen of her favorite snapshots, each accompanied with a fun magnet. Happily, she spread out all the pictures and magnets on the floor and then set about decorating the inside of her locker.  

What we can learn from a third grader with a new locker? Every time she opens that door, she is filled with a warm sensation streaming from her happy pictures.

What will you do today to keep the music alive in these moments within your dash?

Wayne Dyer is one of my life’s heroes. Just the energy of his voice is calming, peaceful, soothing, and loving. Oh, to learn to live as Wayne does.

I recently watched his two DVD set titled, “Ambition to Meaning.”  In it Wayne talks about what some might call his broken early life, but even in the orphanage, his spirited light shone through. No life circumstance could diminish him. He spoke about his earlier adult years, his successes, and his drive toward accomplishment.

Somewhere along the way, he opened the door to meaning, shifting from a focus on the material to a life of serving others.  As I watched his message, some points just begged to be recorded, to refer to over and again. I thought perhaps they might also be meaningful to you:

• How can I serve, be sincere, gentle, and supportive?
• Get your thoughts off yourself.
• Take whatever it is you would really like to attract in your life and want it more for somebody else than yourself.
• Shift off of “WIFM,” what’s in it for me.
• Shift your focus to think like God thinks.
• Everything is available to everyone.
• Look at yourself and see Divinity.
• What does God do with his hands? He gives to others.

Here we are at Friday morning, another work week soon left behind us in history. We left our mark. What does it look like? How did you spend your time? What is most memorable about this past week? In whose life did you make a difference? Were your activities driven by ambition to get ahead or to create meaning in your life? What activities cracked open the door to meaning?

The tut.com message for this morning seems to support Wayne’s message:

“It’s always better to give too much, pay too much, and love too much, than not enough.

But then, Rosie, since everything comes back to you anyway, can there ever be too much?

I love you too much anyway,
    The Universe”

I don’t know about you, but I have lots to reflect upon this weekend. Make it a beautiful one!  :  )

Just as I was headed out the door this morning to have some routine lab work done, my husband said to me, “Rosie, you look sad. What’s wrong?”

Have you ever found yourself in the situation of trying to explain something that you can’t quite figure out yourself?

On the long drive to town, I acknowledged to myself, “I am sad.”  I reflected on the question, “Just what is happening inside of me?” It’s true, I am feeling totally overwhelmed with many pressing responsibilities…yet I had a sense of inner knowing, “That’s not it.” When I peeled down to the core of the issue, I discovered that what is really bothering me is a family member that I care deeply about but can’t seem to impact in a positive way. The negative energy surrounding this person is almost unbearable…and I continue to allow the energy to leak out to me.

I don’t know your philosophy, but every source I study teaches that we are responsible for everything in our life. If this is the case, the thing I have been turning over and over in my mind is, “How can I possibly be bringing something this bad into my life? What is the purpose, and how do I make it go away?”

Driving down the road, the first thing I did was a technique I learned from Doreen Virtue – “cutting the emotional cord.” The theory is we all have attachment cords to other people. This particular cord is draining me of my energy, so I mentally severed it, carefully placing love into both ends of the cord – love to me and love to the other person.

Next, my analytical mind began working hard to “figure it out.” Why is this scenario repeatedly happening? What is the purpose? Why am I creating this scenario in my life? Is it to teach me something? If so, what is it? What am I not learning? Surely this must be it. I am missing something. I am simply not getting it.

I arrived at the lab with these thoughts weighing heavily on my mind. I don’t like to be stuck, so just as she inserted the needle, I turned my head to the side and was stunned to read the following message on the framed wall hanging:

I asked for Strength

And I was given Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom

And was given Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity

And was given a Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage

And was given Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love

And was given Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favors

And was given Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.

I received everything I need.    

 I was stunned at the message. I asked the lab tech if she knew where I could get a copy of that verse. She said, “Oh, I’ll make a copy for you.” She took the frame off the wall and xeroxed a copy for me. Coincidence that I saw this message at that very moment?

 I had to hurry to leave the office because the tears were already forming. On the drive home I remembered, “That’s right. I forgot. We are to express gratitude for everything that happens in our life, for there are no accidents, and everything happens for a reason. I then expressed my gratitude for my long-standing situation and asked for guidance to learn whatever I am to learn and to do the right things going forward.

 I then called my husband on the cell phone, hoping he had not yet boarded the plane so I could explain what was wrong with me. I pulled off the side of the road and read the verse to him. He kindly listened and then told me about a program on a thumb drive at home that he thought would be helpful for me to listen to. Wonder what message is on it? There are no accidents, so I look forward to making time today to watch it.

 Upon returning home, I clicked through my emails wondering if I would find additional enlightening messages, as I have often found there to be in such situations. This morning was no exception. A friend forwarded an astounding message. Here are a couple of excerpts:

 “It’s easy to forget that while we cannot control what happens to us in every area of life, we can learn to control our response to what happens to us. Managing your response to life events is more determinative of your future well-being than the events themselves.” 

“Oh, by the way, the brother who sent me the humorous card and with whom I laughed on the phone…one minor detail: He’s waiting for the perfect time to get surgery for the return of basil cell melanoma. But since his recovery time will knock him out of commission for several weeks, he decided to wait. How come? Because two hours after learning that he needed to return for surgery he also learned that his wife has cancer, an aggressive breast cancer that has already begun to spread. So, he will wait three months so that he can give his undivided attention to caring for her. Want to know why I like talking to both of them? They are still laughing, still full of joy, still full of gratitude, still in love with life and each other, and still full of faith.

Committed to your success…and your responses to life,

Tom Barrett, Ph.D”.

Ahh, so much to be grateful for…

Last night I finished the book You Can Have It All. No wonder Jack Canfield recommends it. In 204 easy-to-read pages, Arnold M. Patent, former attorney, captures the essence of life. This morning while my family is still sleeping, I am thumbing through the book, re-reading the parts I have underlined. What comes up for me is that a key core principle is the unmistakable significance of self-love.

I starred the section in the book “Becoming Aware of Your Purpose” so I could come back to it and complete the suggested exercise. However, I first flipped back to the previous chapter, “Expressing Who We Are.” Patent says, “Knowing where our talents lie and being willing to express them is key to releasing our inner joyfulness.” I am eager to release my inner joyfulness. How about you?

The interesting concept he teaches is, “We do not learn a talent; it is inherent within us. What determines how successful a person will be at expressing her unique talent or talents is how much love she feels for herself. Self-love is always the starting point. When you love yourself, you not only acknowledge your talent, you delight in practicing and expressing it.” How beautiful that each one of us came to this earth with a talent already inside of us. It is simply a matter of loving ourselves and allowing it to flow out of us.

I had a lot of time to reflect on that principle yesterday as I spent hours at the water park with my granddaughter. I noted all the people…all different ages, shapes, sizes, personalities…and wondered if they each have yet discovered their unique talent? Who was it that said “Don’t die with your music still in you”?  How about we peel down to the music?

Patent suggests we make a list of those activities we most enjoy, “the ones that inspire you at the mere thought of them,” and select the one activity on the list that most inspires you. “Now make a list – this time as long as you want it to be – of all the ways you might express the talent you selected on the previous step.” He suggests we write the ideas in a separate notebook and add to the list every day. What a great suggestion to allow our creativity to flow. The most challenging part of the entire exercise is to simply get started.

Back to the self-love, Talent explains, “We can develop our feelings of self love so that we allow ourselves to express our talents, or we can express our talents as a means of expanding our self-love.”  Talent has a way of making us clearly understand how deeply important it is that we love ourselves.  

Flipping forward to the section on life purpose, Patent provides the following exercise: “In a state of deep self-love and peacefulness, ask yourself, ‘What is my purpose for living?’ or ‘What is my unique role in the Universe?’ Allow the answer to come to you. Let it be as expansive as you can imagine.”

The examples he provides show us that our statement of purpose does not have to be complex:

“My purpose is demonstrating the joy and power of an open heart.”

“In a spirit of fun, I inspire wisdom and creative expression.”

“My purpose is choosing love, joy, freedom and abundance.”

After reading the book and soaking up the insights that fill the pages, my life purpose statement is, “To love myself and inspire others to love themselves.”

 Why not let today be the first day of your awakening to self-love? Why not give yourself a gift? Treat yourself to Patent’s life-changing book and exercises.

Thank you, Jack Canfield, for recommending the book to help us all to find our path.