A conversation with a loved one ensued following the two recently posted articles:  Let Whatever Happens Be OK (see http://rosiebrownrn.com/let-whatever-happens-be-ok/), and The Path to Wholeness. . .a bumpy ride (see http://rosiebrownrn.com/the-path-to-wholeness-a-bumpy-ride/).

“I applied for this job. I did everything right. I held the vision. I saw me getting this job. I kept my attitude positive and strong. . .and then the call came. . .I didn’t get the job. All this resistance stuff is all well and good, but I can’t hang on any more.”

It is easy to follow the practices outline in these two articles when everything is going great. Not so easy to keep the faith when situations in life seem hopeless. That is when faith is needed the most.

Perhaps the following passage from The Five Things We Cannot Change. . .and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them by David Richo will help:

The fact that things do not always go according to plan means that powers beyond ego are at work in our lives –powers that lead us to our destiny by a path we might have neglected. Once we understand that we are supported by powers beyond our ego, we see that having to be in control may not be in our best interest; we might upset mighty plans that are afoot on our behalf.

What if that job is not the best job for him? What if plans, not known to him, are afoot for something much better? What if his life’s mission would be derailed by that job? What if there is a greater intelligence looking out for him?

Richo shares the following story to make his point;

In the early 1940s, on the night of her graduation party, a high school girl named Doris Van Kappelhoff was involved in a serious car accident. She had planned to go to Hollywood to become a dancer in films, but her injuries made that future no longer possible. Doris, during the long homebound recuperation, began to sing along with the female vocalists on the radio. Her voice became so well trained that she was hired to sing in a band, and soon thereafter, she found parts in movies, changing her name to Doris Day. Her original plans were dashed by the tragic event, but thereby she found her true calling.

Things don’t always go according to our plans, but a change of plans may be an example of synchronicity, the mysterious set of circumstances that lead us to a life fulfillment unguessed and unsought-other words for grace.

Perhaps a better plan would call for a celebration, celebrating the fact that  he did not get that job. . . for who knows what better plan may be afoot?

Have you ever experienced a painful life circumstance that made absolutely no sense at all? Have you ever turned it over and over and over in your mind, trying to understand “Why?” Why did it happen? Why me? Why now?

In a conversation with a friend last night, I again found myself in the vicious cycle of ruminating and lamenting over such an experience.

This morning on my way to Jazzercise, I again listened to more in the series on the Holosync program (see “Let Whatever Happens be OK,” http://rosiebrownrn.com/let-whatever-happens-be-ok/).

Bill Harris teaches it isn’t the thing that causes emotional pain inside of us, it is our response to the thing. Resistance to the thing creates the pain and suffering we feel. OK, another reminder. I needed that.

Then when I opened my email this morning, was it an accident that the following message appeared in my inbox from www.inner_journey@higherawareness.com?

The Path to Wholeness

We think that God has blessed us if we don’t have too many troubles. In fact, religions have erroneously taught us that pain is punishment for our sins. We often ask, “What have I done wrong?” when things do not go the way we want.

Yet, to become ourselves in the truest and deepest sense, we must face our own duality, which of course includes facing our darkness. As souls we strive for wholeness, not for perfection.

At first, we really don’t know what is going on. We just find life difficult, challenging and often painful. Eventually, after much experience and reflection, we start to find meaning in it all. Eventually, we gladly accept the means whereby we can do the Soul work we have come for.

As we become conscious as Souls, we walk our journey purposefully, embracing the reality of our earthly nature along with the truth of our divine nature.

Next, I received a quick phone call from my son on his way to work. He forgot to tell me that yesterday on the way to work a woman was reading a book on the train. He couldn’t pull his eyes away from it. The title? The Five Things We Cannot Change And the Happiness We Find By Embracing Them by David Richo. Oh no, this was not an accident – he was meant to deliver this message to me this very morning.

“ It sounded like a book you would have,” he said.

No,. . .it sounds like a book I need to read!

OK, I then dropped everything and immediately went to amazon.com and read both the Table of Contents and the Introduction. I couldn’t stand it. I had to know right then what those five things are:

1) Everything changes and ends.

2) Things do not always go according to the plan.

3) Life is not always fair.

4) Pain is a part of life.

5) People are not loving and loyal all the time.

Three statements in the Introduction jumped off the page at me:

The five simple facts of life defy and terrorize the mighty ego that insists on full control.

Once we understand that we are supported by powers beyond our ego, we see that having to be in control may not be in our best interest; we might upset mighty plans that are afoot on our behalf.

If we have the courage to face life’s unavoidable truths, we will find the grace to love no matter what happens to us. Love is always unconditional in the sense that it is not stymied or stifled by any of the conditions of existence. Neither changes, endings, altered plans, unfairness, suffering, disloyalty, or lack of love can stop us from loving.

Borders is holding that book for me. I can’t wait to read it this afternoon!

Funny what you can learn about yourself and your life patterns just by cutting the grass. . .

Early this hot July morning, I prepared to push-mow my grass. In getting dressed, I picked a pair of low cut, terribly uncomfortable socks out of my drawer (leaving the comfy ones behind), thinking I didn’t care if I got them all dirty.

Not too long into my venture, I noticed a burning pain in my heels. The darn socks had slipped down into my shoes, and I was quickly creating a blister. Did I stop? No! I kept pushing forward. “I am NOT stopping till I get this finished!” became my battle cry.

The pain kept increasing, and I kept pushing forward. The inner voice kept nagging, “What would it hurt you to stop just a moment to pull up those socks? You have an electric start mower. It is no big deal to restart the mower.” “Fine!” I finally relented as I stopped the mower.

It wasn’t 10 seconds later, and those darn socks slipped back down again. The pain intensified. The inner voice persevered, “You know, why don’t you just go change your socks? It wouldn’t hurt you to get a drink of water either while you are at it. It is hot out here.”

Does any of this sound familiar? Do any of you push and push and push yourself, even though you are dog tired?

Do you ever put up with lesser quality things, when you know you deserve better? Why not just throw away those stupid socks?

Why not bring out the fine china? What purpose does the china serve sitting all dainty in the cabinet? Don’t you deserve the fine china? What good will that china have served when you are 95 years old and you never got to use it?

Women in particular push and push and push – pushing beyond fatigue. They try to do it all – be a wife, mother, children’s taxi service, full blown career woman, and on and on. Women make sure that everyone else is comfortable, and they tend to take what’s left for themselves.

What can you do today to pamper yourself? It doesn’t have to be grandiose – just a comfortable pair of socks will do.

Ever think you could learn lessons from a young mimosa tree? Me either.

One night at dusk, a friend pointed out a young mimosa tree, often called the “sleeping plant.” One look at its leaves explains its name.  Each evening the leaves curl up into a fetal position as if welcoming in the full moon, the star studded sky, and a restful night’s sleep.

In the days prior to electricity, the end of daylight signaled the time for rest and retirement from the day’s activities. Nighttime was the time to refresh and renew, to balance the melatonin-serotonin ratio. Mimosa trees grow rapidly, to about 20-25 feet. Is there a health message there for us?

Soon enough the dawn appears. Just as the mimosa’s leaves stretch and open to grasp the light of another day, so did the inhabitants of the bed unwind from their fetal positions, welcoming a new day.

The mimosa is also called the sensitive plant. The name derives from the Latin word mimus, meaning “to imitate.” The mimosa was given this name because of the way it folds its leaves when touched.

What if we humans were more sensitive? What if we thought more about how much touch can warm another’s heart? What would happen if we folded our arms around the person who reaches out to touch us? What if we touched each other more?  What if we made a bigger effort to transfer love from one heart to another?

Mimosa trees are commonly planted near back patios because of their ability to attract hummingbirds. What if our energy was so beautiful that we attracted others to us?

The mimosa’s blooms are a striking pink color with a unique texture. The tree is also known as the “silk tree” because of its stunning, shimmering flowers. They can be seen blocks away, and the fragrant scent can be detected almost as far.

Like the mimosa, can’t you sense the person who fills the room with vibrance the minute they enter the doorway…and the one who sucks the life out of you?

A lesson from the mimosa…size or money or prestige just doesn’t matter. Mimosa trees work beautifully when you need a small to medium sized ornamental tree. Though they have a tropical look, they are very hardy. They adapt to almost any soil type, and they even tolerate drought conditions. Wouldn’t it be grand if we were as adaptable to the people and circumstances we encounter along our life’s journey?

The mimosa’s bark is a gentle light gray, providing a beautiful contrast of color. As we encounter the contrast in our day, might we be just a little gentler with our bark as we navigate our way?

The mimosa’s fragrant, hot pink blooms grow in clusters, adding an explosion of color and excitement to any spring setting. What if we humans gathered together, pulling together for a common cause? What explosion of color and excitement might we bring to an initiative, be it work, play, or love?

Mimosas can be planted in full sun or partial shade. Any location works.

No matter our location, all it takes is learning and applying a few simple lessons provided by the mimosa tree.

On the way home from Jazzercise, just as the dawn was breaking, a lump formed in my throat as I witnessed a beautiful gift from Nature. Two geese were climbing a steep bank on the side of the road. Waddling behind them were five babies, each struggling hard to stay erect as they scurried along behind mom and dad.

The babies didn’t question if they could make it or not. They were on a mission to make it. Worrying if they could make it or not was not an option.

Wayne Dyer recently wrote an article titled “Don’t Let Your Worries Get the Best of You”…

“Worry, then, is a technique you have created in order to use up the ‘now’ moments of your life, rather than choosing to use these precious, present moments living a fully functioning, happy life.

Everything that has ever happened to you did not happen in the past—it happened in the present moment. And everything that will ever happen to you will not occur in the future—it will take place in the ‘now’ as well. So every moment you elect to spend in worry is your way of using up your ‘nows’ by not being fully present in your life.”

Were the baby geese fully present? Were they persisting until they succeeded in climbing the mountain set before them?

Og Mandino writes, “…and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next bend in the road. Never will I know how close it lies unless I turn the corner. I will persist until I succeed.”

Curious as to the meaning of the appearance of the geese, I looked to see what Animal Spirit Guides by Steven Farmer had to say:

“If goose shows up, it means: This is a time of good fortune, so be receptive to and appreciate all of the good things that come to you.

Call on your ancestors for their guidance and protection, and once you do so, you’ll notice a significant increase in your spiritual awareness.

Reread some of your favorite fairy tales and legends and see what new meanings you can get from them now as an adult.

Write creative and imaginative stories, either about actual experiences you’ve had or those that are made up.

Even though it may not always appear to be so, you’re very well protected.”

Well then, if good fortune is ours to be had, is it not time to cast aside the worry and persist until you succeed?

As Martha Beck advises, “If you’re hoping for a miracle, stop gabbing and start working… Persist, and miracles will start happening, all the more wondrous because you worked them yourself.”

When the student is ready, the teacher will come…

Such was the case for me yesterday. I got my feelings hurt BIG time…and I must admit it took me several, several hours till I got my boat turned around. Anger, resentment, silent treatment, projection onto others…I worked it with the best of them.

Finally, a couple of hours into it, I asked myself, “What is the lesson in this?”

Just an hour or so prior to my fiasco, I received the following message from someone who is also currently trying to turn his boat around. Maybe the message was a heads-up for what I was about to experience?

“We only have one life, and we don’t know how long we’ll be here. We might as well live it up and be happy. Forget the worries and sorrows. That’s why you run with it.”

After going out for a jog to release the anger, followed by going into silence to reflect on the situation, I started to really take an introspective look into the target of my anger. Was this a mirror reflecting me back to me? Are the challenging situations occurring in your life a mirror reflecting back to you?

When you look at it this way, what follows?  Perhaps empathy, then understanding, then love. Yeah, love. What is there to do in a case like this? Shine love into the darkness. Take the high road. Be the example, no matter how difficult. Learn the lesson.

Curious that this morning the following statement appears in my inbox from oprah.com: “Many Buddhists consider huge difficulties to be a sign you’re an old soul—the bigger your misfortunes, the closer you are to enlightenment. Whether you believe this or not, it’s certainly cheery to reframe all your life’s bad events as tests of your character. If you feel particularly tested right now, ask yourself what the heck you’re being tested for! Patience? Compassion? Resilience? Forgiveness? Open-mindedness? What strengths must you develop further? Now consciously go out there and develop them!”

Ouch! If you read a little further, there’s the R word:

Let Go of Resentment
Keep in mind a fabulous Carrie Fisher quote: ‘Resentment is the poison you swallow hoping the other person will die.’ Recognize that when you resent someone, you are not only hurting yourself, you’re also giving this person control of your emotions—and you don’t want to give this person bubkes!

Stay Centered
Recognize that when you respond with hate to hate, anger to anger, bitterness to bitterness, you are ironically becoming part of the problem. Choose to resist becoming like them and instead put in the conscious effort to remain a loving, soulful, happy person.

Get Revenge Positively
Contemplating revenge? The best kind of revenge is living a successful, happy life. If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your energy will attract more positive people and positive results. As Albert Einstein said, ‘You can’t solve a problem by staying in the same energy in which it was created.’ To stay focused on highly positive thoughts, repeat this meditation ritual throughout the day: ‘Love, forgiveness, letting go, peace.’

Whew, it would you agree that it does take conscious effort to remain a loving, soulful, happy person?

Love, forgiveness, letting go, peace…perhaps that is the lesson.

Front page in today’s local paper: Painful grimace on a 21 year old’s face as he sits in his wheelchair with a physical therapist on each side of him conducting arm resistance exercises. Paralyzed since a motocross accident in 2006, he affectionately calls one of his therapists his “torturer.”

And what was I feeling sorry for myself about just prior to picking up the paper? Did you wake up today feeling sorry for yourself? This young man will never be able to enjoy the simple pleasures of handwriting out the monthly bills, walking into the dentist’s office, or changing an unexpected flat tire when you are already late to work.

It is all a matter of perspective.

No matter how bad we think we have it, there is always someone experiencing more pain. Why is it we so quickly forget that fact as we wallow in the depths of our own personal despair?

The gurus of all times encourage us to embrace our hardships, for without the contrast we would not create or appreciate the more pleasurable aspects of life.

Og Mandino says it this way: “I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.”

What if, just for today, when you catch yourself whining about something, you turn it around into gratitude and appreciation for the experience? What soul growth is happening as a result of the trauma? How will you feel and how will your day, your life, unfold if you come from a place of joy and appreciation for all that happens today?

Cancer survivor Lance Armstrong advises us, “Time is limited, so I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right, and to string my days together into
a life of action, and purpose.”

You and I have the power to appreciate everything about this beautiful day. It’s all a matter of perspective.

Ah, today’s message from tut.com:

“I bet you could do something for someone today, Rosie, who’d remember it for the rest of their life.

In a good way.

On your mark, get set…

The Universe

PS, Actually, Rosie, you do it all the time.”

I read this message early this morning. It is now mid afternoon, and I am reflecting on it again. Yep, I think I did what the message said…I just wonder if I did it “in a good way.”

I was engaged in a conversation with a bright, classy, well mannered young man. I noted that sometimes he would walk in front of me or enter doors in front of me. It made me think of an impressive acquaintance I recently met who must be one of the last of the southern gentlemen. This man goes out of his way to make sure he holds every door open for the females in his company. He opens every car door. Women are so impressed and stunned by his gentlemanly ways.  “Chivalry is not dead!” is the consistent stunned response by women he accompanies.

Thinking this would be a hot tip for the already well mannered young man, I shared my experience with him. He commented, “Are you saying I don’t do that?” I thought I tactfully indicated “A lot of the time, but not consistently.” Well…the afternoon was then filled with sarcastic humor about how rude he is. His “poking fun” comments felt like sarcastic offendedness disguised as humor. Hmm, my words apparently were effective, but my facial expressions left a lot to be desired when I delivered my message.

I did a lot of back pedaling, but not sure it helped ease the facial delivery.

I recall many years ago teaching a class “The Team and Me.” During a group exercise, I asked participants to write on the board characteristics of the worst teacher they had ever experienced. One 50 + year old female wrote, “In 5^th grade my teacher said I had the worst handwriting of any kid in her entire teaching career.” Quite a distinction for a 5^th grade kid, would you agree? I asked the class to time how long it took to make that statement. Just a few seconds. How long did she remember the statement? All her life.

What is the old saying? “Let the words I say today be soft and tender for tomorrow I may need to eat them.” Once the words, or the facial expression, is delivered, you can’t put them back.

I bet this young man will remember to walk behind females and open doors for them…but next time I could certainly focus on finding an improved mannerism when delivering my thoughtful messages.

Yes, tut.com, you are right on with your message: “I bet you could do something for someone today, Rosie, who’d remember it for the rest of their life.” Yeah, I bet you could – you do it all the time.

Lou Holtz in his video Do Right said one thing is universal: you are going to have problems. Try as you might, you cannot escape problems long term. They are a natural part of our human experience.

www.tut.com says it this way…

“If you knew how much you have in common with every single person now living in time and space Rosie – in terms of your greatest hopes and dreams, and your deepest fears and worries – you’d wonder how I manage to tell you all apart.

And from this day forward you’d likely think of every single one of them as ‘dearest,’ just as I do.

Tallyho,
The Universe”

Problems are universal. As bad as it may seem, you are not alone. What makes one experience different from another’s is how you react to the problem. Do you feel like you made a mistake? Do you blame yourself? Do you feel hopeless, feel as if there is no way out of the situation?

No matter what, you are not a “bad person.” There are no mistakes. A friend recently told me, “The only mistake you make is if you fail to learn from the experience.”

Deepak Chopra says it this way…“Be willing to stop judging against yourself. Bad urges don’t make you a bad person.”

I have had my share of “bad urges.” How about you?

Another thought…are “bad urges” really “bad”? Don’t good things come from all experiences, no matter how “bad” they are.

Recently feeling completely overwhelmed with a personal issue, my son sent me the following quote. He said his professor gave it to him in college when the going got really tough. It helped him make it through. It has helped me. Perhaps it will help you…

“Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

I was talking with a friend last night, discussing someone who feels as if his life is collapsing around him. My friend took the firm approach that, no matter what, be grateful. No matter how “bad” things seem, his advice is to be grateful. “If you don’t, you are destined to have more and more ‘bad things’ to happen.”

Another perspective comes from this week’s message from Higher Awareness:

“When we are struggling with any challenge, whether it be ill health, a lack of money, a lost job, relationships, an accident, whatever — we need to look for the spiritual learning. We can ask ourselves, “What quality does my soul want me to live more fully?”

Perhaps the most insightful piece of advice comes from Stephen Covey…

“If you start to think the problem is ‘out there,’ stop yourself. That thought is the problem.”

Perhaps the most helpful technique is to guard your thoughts…guard against the negative thoughts and focus on all the things with which to be grateful.

“Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

Dr. Gabhart, ND (www.whitneygabhartnd.com) has taught me to put “first things first:”

1. Eat right
2. Sleep right
3. Poop right

 BUT…

If you want a more extensive set of guidance for the New Year, check out this Handbook for 2010: