Ah, today’s message from tut.com:

“I bet you could do something for someone today, Rosie, who’d remember it for the rest of their life.

In a good way.

On your mark, get set…

The Universe

PS, Actually, Rosie, you do it all the time.”

I read this message early this morning. It is now mid afternoon, and I am reflecting on it again. Yep, I think I did what the message said…I just wonder if I did it “in a good way.”

I was engaged in a conversation with a bright, classy, well mannered young man. I noted that sometimes he would walk in front of me or enter doors in front of me. It made me think of an impressive acquaintance I recently met who must be one of the last of the southern gentlemen. This man goes out of his way to make sure he holds every door open for the females in his company. He opens every car door. Women are so impressed and stunned by his gentlemanly ways.  “Chivalry is not dead!” is the consistent stunned response by women he accompanies.

Thinking this would be a hot tip for the already well mannered young man, I shared my experience with him. He commented, “Are you saying I don’t do that?” I thought I tactfully indicated “A lot of the time, but not consistently.” Well…the afternoon was then filled with sarcastic humor about how rude he is. His “poking fun” comments felt like sarcastic offendedness disguised as humor. Hmm, my words apparently were effective, but my facial expressions left a lot to be desired when I delivered my message.

I did a lot of back pedaling, but not sure it helped ease the facial delivery.

I recall many years ago teaching a class “The Team and Me.” During a group exercise, I asked participants to write on the board characteristics of the worst teacher they had ever experienced. One 50 + year old female wrote, “In 5^th grade my teacher said I had the worst handwriting of any kid in her entire teaching career.” Quite a distinction for a 5^th grade kid, would you agree? I asked the class to time how long it took to make that statement. Just a few seconds. How long did she remember the statement? All her life.

What is the old saying? “Let the words I say today be soft and tender for tomorrow I may need to eat them.” Once the words, or the facial expression, is delivered, you can’t put them back.

I bet this young man will remember to walk behind females and open doors for them…but next time I could certainly focus on finding an improved mannerism when delivering my thoughtful messages.

Yes, tut.com, you are right on with your message: “I bet you could do something for someone today, Rosie, who’d remember it for the rest of their life.” Yeah, I bet you could – you do it all the time.

On my walk this morning, I listened to the weekly recorded call, “Breakfast with Bob,” by best-selling author, Robert G. Allen. I was struck by a comment he made:

“Good parents create good memories; bad parents create bad memories.”

Bob had just returned from a family vacation/reunion in Canada. He reviewed the beautiful memories he had created with his family…last week and in previous years. Bob said his definition of a good parent has always been: “Good parents create good memories; bad parents create bad memories.”

What a powerful statement. What powerful beings we are. It occurred to me that it is not only parents who create memories, it is each of us as we live our daily lives as co-worker, supervisor, spouse, teacher, lover, stranger, friend.

In just a few seconds we can create a memory that another will carry in their heart for a lifetime. We can give the gift of a good memory, or we can inflict a bad memory. I think I wrote before about the lady who told me her 5^th grade teacher announced to her and the entire class, “You have the worst handwriting I have seen in my entire career.”

 How many seconds did it take for that teacher to make that comment? How many years will the recipient of the words carry them in her heart? She is in her 60s and still remembers the incident as if it happened yesterday. What power we have to impact another human being.

Yes, you can plan to create memories, such as with a family vacation. However, perhaps far greater memories are created day in and day out. Opportunities to create memories just seem to pop up as life creates its daily surprises.

What would it hurt to strike up a conversation with the tired mother in the grocery line? What would it do for her spirit if you told her how much you admire, from your observation, the way she works with her industrious children?

What if you pulled together the people in your department and sincerely thanked them for all they have done this past quarter to try to get the budget sheets back in the black? What would it do for them if you asked them for their ideas…and then really listened, recorded their ideas, and then acted on them?

What if you engage the cab driver in a conversation as he safely delivers you to your destination? What if you asked him about his day, about what is in his heart? I am reminded of the cab driver I met in Las Vegas a few years ago. ..and I am reminded that it is time that I give him another call to encourage him to pursue his dreams.

I learned that Jimmy De Vita was a cab driver by day, but that his heart was in songwriting and poetry. He ended up singing beautiful lyrics to me, and I was saddened when we reached my destination because we were out of time, and I wanted to hear more. All this happened just because I opened the door.

All we have is time, time to create precious memories – for ourselves and others. Remember the quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life . . . that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

 We have the power to choose – good memories or bad ones.

 Here is my prayer for all of us…let us remember that this very moment is so precious. Let us spend our moments creating beautiful memories for every person who crosses our path along life’s journey.

 The gift in giving is that those beautiful memories will become ours as well. Have a wonderful weekend!  :  )